Thing of the Week: All Liz's New $5 T-Shirts, Highbrow & Lowbrow Baked Goods

LIZ'S THING OF THE WEEK: All My New $5 T-Shirts

On Saturday morning I went to a sample sale at Blood Is The New Black. It was happening at the same time as the Echo Park Christmas parade, which meant that there were lots of Christmas clowns dancing down Sunset Blvd to "Sexy & I Know It" as we shopped. I got four t-shirts for five bucks each: a shirt that says "Good Hearted Woman" (from the Waylon Jennings collection), one of Sterling Bartlett's Metal Bears tank tops, one of Sterling Bartlett's Punk Birds tank tops (v. similar to this muscle tee), and the Jane & Serge muscle tee which is the only one I haven't worn yet. Right now the Waylon Jennings one is my fave:

I don't really know anything about Waylon Jennings, but I love the part in Walk The Line when Johnny Cash is living with Waylon Jennings and they're really down-and-out, and Johnny asks Waylon why the phone's disconnected, and Waylon says the phone company turned it off due to "insufficient fundulation." I always mean to say that whenever I don't have enough money for something, but then I always forget.

Also on Saturday I went to my friends' wedding and it was the raddest wedding ever. The bride walked down the aisle to the music that plays at the end of the original Star Wars:

and at the end of the ceremony they danced back up the aisle together to "Silly Love Songs" by Wings -- so cute! And then later that night I went to a tree-trimming party and ate several of those cookies that're sugar cookies with a Hershey's Kiss pressed into the center, which are definitely the top three holiday cookies of all time. I wore my Punk Birds shirt and it was a hit, and the punch was made with really big slices of green apples. All in all, a very chill and fruitful Darby Crash Death Day.

LJ'S THING OF THE WEEK: Highbrow & Lowbrow Baked Goods

My mom and I went to Nadege. I guess it's fair to point out that these are the highbrow baked goods I'm referring to, in case you're fucking dumb and suck at contextualizing. She had the lil guy on the right, which is adorably named "the Beatrix Potter." Just as everything should be! (I'm naming my kid Beatrix Potter and I'm also naming my dog Beatrix Potter, not to mention my cat. And my bird.) It's hazelnut carrot cake with layered with hazelnut buttercream. I love the way the frosting shines like enamel. I had the La Mancha: saffron creme brulee, honey mousse, blackberry coulis, and a shortbread biscuit. I feel kind of stupid saying "It was delicious" because OBVS! Imagine if it wasn't? "Yeah this delicate yet complex petit-four made out of exclusively delicious ingredients that I bought for $8.50 at a renowned patisserie was fucking revolting. Inedible. Slop, basically."  

Amanda and I went to Glory Hole. A couple weeks ago I met Jenn for brunch at Easy and after eating we walked past Glory Hole and I wanted a donut so bad but I'd just eaten so much brunch and had to go to work kind of soon and I knew that a donut would push my stomach over the edge into really unpleasant territory and I just couldn't do that to myself. So I didn't eat a Glory Hole donut that day; instead I became obsessed with looking at the Glory Hole website like ten thousand times per day. All I wanted in the world was to eat a toast & butter donut, but I also wanted a black forest cake donut, and an Elvis, so I made a plan to go to Glory Hole and try a zillion different flavs with Amanda, my pal who is always game to eat as much food as me. You don't want to go out for donuts with a "light eater." 

The thing with the egg in it was called a breakfast bun and I could eat one of them for breakfast every day for the next ten years probably. There was salami baked into the bread. We ordered the breakfast bun because we wanted to give ourselves some "nutrition." 

They were out of toast & butter donuts, so I a bit wanted to kill myself for a sec, but then I ate a bite of a different donut and then I wanted to live. It's hard to describe the tastes of things. The Elvis is under the breakfast bun. It had peanut butter frosting, chunks of peanuts, banana chips, bacon, and a marshmallow. Amanda asked the Glory Hole employee if the marshmallow was home-made and he said, "I *wish* this was my home!"- it was adorable. And yes, it was. The donut was incredible. The pieces of peanut really pushed it over the edge, texturally. The maple was perfect. I wrote a big part about a maple donut into a story I'm writing because I can't stop thinking about it. But black forest cake was my fav. Just look at that thing! We ate it on stone church steps. I feel so put out, in life, by my always having to eat foods that don't have maraschino cherries on them. I call bullshit on every single thing in the world that isn't a maraschino cherry.