So What Are You Wearing To Your Own Funeral?

A WEIRD ART PROJECT BY LAURA JANE FAULDS

A few weeks ago I posted this thing about dresses, in which I somehow managed to find a way to relate blogging about dresses to dying, because I am a real-life superhero and my super-power is figuring out how to relate every single thing about life to death. It's so cool. My entire creative output/social life is one neverending memento mori. 

Anyway, I don't feel like reiterating an idea I've already written about because I like to move FORWARD, so I'm just going to cut and paste exactly what I already said: ...and then I was like, maybe I should make the post about how these three dresses are all dresses that I'd want to get buried in, in my coffin, and then I started thinking about how maybe that's the ultimate mark of whether a dress is Great or not, and then I thought it might be cool to ask a bunch of people what outfit they'd like to be buried in and then blog about it. So maybe I'll do that!  

So yeah, I'm doing that. This post is a... CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS! I am going to give you a totally reasonable deadline for this one. Your deadline is... APRIL 8th, 2013! That is more than enough time for you to get your shit together and email me a picture of your bad dead self wearing a cool outfit that represents who you were and how your rolled during the amount of time you spent living on this crazy old planet of ours. You have almost the entire month of March to mull it all over, and then you can procrastinate working on it for most of the first week of April- April 8th falls a Monday, which gives you the weekend of April 6th and 7th to get 'er done. But I just want to warn you that April 7th is the night of the season premiere of Mad Men so don't procrastinate taking your death photo until that night! Take it that afternoon. Sunday afternoons are so boring anyway! You just ate brunch and now you're bored and tired, counting down the hours until the Mad Men premiere. Take a picture of yourself and send it to me! BONUS POINTS IF YOU LOOK DEAD IN YOUR PHOTO. 

This is neither the time nor the place for cute selfies. I don't want to see your motherfucking cheekbones (unless they are naturally prominent). Don't do that dumb 2001 supermodel jutty shoulders thing. Pretend you're DEAD! I want to see you lying down with your eyes closed. I mean if you don't feel comfortable doing that, that's cool too, but just make sure YOUR ACCOMPANYING PARAGRAPH IS SOLID and also MORBID. Just write a little thing about why you'd want your dead self to be buried in this outfit and really get into the DEATH aspect of it! Pretend you're me and death is all you want to talk about ever. Just go there. Confront it! The Great Unknown! 

Also, the convenient part of participating in this creepy little project of mine is that if you do die, in the next little while I mean, people will know what to do. Because think about what would happen if you died in the near future and never told anyone what outfit you want to be buried in. Seriously. Think about it. Think about who would have to choose your dead self's outfit. Yup. That's right, you guys! It would be YOUR MOM. Your mother, left up to her own devices. So unless you want to be buried in something SO traditionally feminine that accentuates your curves plus MATCHING HANDBAG

CONTRIBUTE TO MY WEIRD ART PROJECT AND SAVE YOURSELF

April 8th, 2013. Please send all submissions to laurajanefaulds at gmail dot com.