Strawberry Fields Whatever: Oh Just Some Cool Shit I'd Buy If I Were Rich

Straight up, first thing I'd do if I were rich is I'd buy us all these zodiac sign shoes. I mean, not all of us. Not all of us in the world. Just Liz and Jen and I. Off the Internet. Immediately. Then I'd go eat some dinner.

The chartreuse bad boys on the left are for Capricorns, ex. Liz Barker. The nice pale ones in the middle are for super-femme-y Cancers, like me. It sucks how whenever there's a zodiac fashion feature in any magazine or anything anywhere, the Cancer option is always this exact shade of piglet-skin and if it's a dress, drapey and floral and romantic. These Cancer shoes are one of the first Cancer-specific clothing items I've ever not wanted to barf on. The badass blue ones on the left are for Scorpios like Jen. Leave it to Scorpios to score into having "blue suede shoes" be their zodiac shoes. How stupendously rock-and-roll but also classic at the same time. Some folks have all the luck. In other news, I probably will never say stupendous on this blog or anywhere ever again and it's really weird that I did but I'm also pretty tired and drunk right now so hey. Hi. Hi there.

The other day I took myself out for sushi before work, I was really over reading this book called The History of God I've been reading- newsflash, the history of God is fucking BORING- so I stopped into a magazine store to buy myself a magazine to read for sushi, and I really should have just bought myself a tabloid, since they're lighter and easier to hold in your one hand while your other hand holds the chopsticks, but since I was being all "classy" and eating sushi I bought myself British Vogue, the one with Cara Delevingne on the cover. I like everything about Cara Delevingne except for the first of the two n's in her last name. That is such a stupid n.

To make a long story short, I read about fifteen pages of the Vogue before my Bento box got in the way and I was like "Who am I kidding" and focused all my attention on eating really fast, but was moderately late for work anyway. Point being, all fifteen of said pages were advertisements, but as it turned out, the advertisements were the best part of the magazine. I saw this Dior ad, and all the models were wearing these short little flared blazers with flowers on the blazers as dresses, and I loved them.

I loved them so much that when I got home from work that night, I looked the rest of the collection up on the Internet, and discovered that the floral lil blazer-dresses were merely the tip of the Christian Dior S/S 2013 RTW collecksh being cute to me iceberg! Not that I don't think the fashion industry is revolting or should exist or anything. Please don't think I think that. This is actually a sad thing, a sad blog post, a sad and tragic tale about the sad and tragic time the fashion industry brainwashed me into writing a blog post about how it's cool. So that's sad, I'm very weak, and check out at how beautiful these dresses are!!!

like aiiiiyyeeeeeeeeee um HI honestly you guys it's FUCKED how good this dress would look on me. Like I would be so down to just own 15 of these dresses and eschew all other clothes except 2 cardigans, a pair of shorts, and my Rolling Stones t-shirt and just wear this dress every day forever for the entire rest of my life,