Old Man John Lennon

I clicked on the link to this super-trashy Buzzfeed post entitled "What Deceased Music Legends Would Look Like If They'd Made It To Old Age" expecting it to be a chill mix of inaccurate and semi-offensive, but it turned out that whoever made these weird Internetty face-meld pictures did a kind of inspired job of it (although they really shit the bed on their wildly-schlumpy depiction of fortysomething Kurt Cobain; I think it's nuts to assume that 2013 Kurt would have had a goatee. Kurt Cobain had his ear to the ground, and goatees are out of fashion. Let's get real here). 

I was hoping there'd be a John Lennon one because duh, I'm obviously obsessed with the Beatles, and then there was, and it is BEAUTIFUL. He looks so English and gentle and he's wearing a) earth tones and b) a turtleneck. His gaze is loving you but also daring you. I've had a pretty good run of not having any emotional breakdowns about John Lennon's death in a couple years but this photo definitely ruined my winning streak. I think it's 100% on the money and that the people who made this picture are actually crazy psychic mystics who travelled here from a parallel Universe where John Lennon is alive to tell us all the TRUTH about what John Lennon truly grew up to look like. 

IN CONCLUSION: John Lennon was one of the coolest humans ever to happen, his death was messed up, and if he were alive I would have figured out some sort of way to be his intern, I know I would have, and we would have been a cool duo, Old Man John and I. I just want to drink wine and talk shit with the old dude in a library. Not, like, a public library- a library in a person's home. In his home. Me and John and a very musty smell and a ladder. 

-LJ