Something Called "Les Petits Beatles" Exists & It's Everything You Want It To Be!

Society 6 is a great website, and that's high praise coming from me (Laura Jane Faulds). As a rule, I hate websites. They're ugly, and often greyish. Hyperlinks are usually blue! A really flat, tacky blue. Yuck. I hate the word, web-site, and I hate that this is a website. I hate that we call the Internet a "web." It's not a web. A web is a thing a spider knits. There's often dew on a real web. It glimmers.

A lot of shit on Society 6 is lame, but welcome to the world! I think Society 6's deal is that artists/illustrators/graphic designers pay Society 6 I'm assuming a shit ton of $$$ to turn their art into such frivolities as: iPhone cases, t-shirts, hoodies, tote bags, something called "skins" which I believe relate to iPads, and so on and so forth. It's like a classier Zazzle that doesn't blow. These sentences are very boring for me to be writing. I bought my iPhone case from Society 6 a year ago and it looks like this:

It's one of the most heavily-complimented material possessions I've ever owned. What do you think "Society 6" means, by the way? Nothing, right? I'm pretty sure it means nothing. Though I'd be interested to know which are the first 5 societies. I'm assuming actual society is Society 1. Maybe Societies 2 through 5 are cults. 

Recently, I was thinking about maybe buying myself a new iPhone case. I Googled "james joyce iphone case" but the results were all extremely lame if you can believe that. Sad, sad, and bleak. And of such poor quality! So then I just called a spade a spade and looked up "beatles" on reliable ol Society 6, and I found this art a person makes called "Les Petits Beatles." What really drives me crazy about all of this is that I've been alive for twenty-seven years and never once thought up the phrase "Les Petits Beatles" on my own! Sad, sad and bleak. I suck at YOLO. 

Les Petits Beatles is a sweet little shop- no, shoppe- filled with weird/adorable drawings of kiddy-looking Beatles with few or no facial features doing cutesy kid stuff. I like how Abbey Road stretches on forever in the photo ("photo." I think this is a "photo."), although I hate the way the artist represented Ringo. He reminds me of the character Barney from The Simpsons and I feel like that elbow patch is way too high up on his elbow. But it's very cool how George has that balloon and Paul has bunny slippers but John has NOTHING, because even Le Petit John is too cool for petit shit.

A true story from my life is that the other night I dreamed I had a daughter and named her Paper. Paper McCartney Faulds. I was going to try and relate that to the paper cap Paul is wearing in this illustration, but I think the one in the paper cap might be George? Maybe Paul is hanging upside down from the branch and holding a ukelele. Anyway, none of this matters, and we're all going to die one day. 

Now here's one of Les Petits Beatles and Les Petits Rolling Stones standing in front of a Union Jack. Ringo's like "What the fuck?", and John Lennon is a Womble. Is Paul the one in the red turtleneck, or is that George? What is Ringo so confused about? Keith's cheeks are stuffed with acorns. "I've rolled my sleeves up!" cries Ronnie Wood. Charlie Watts is old. 

An ice floe! Two ice floes! I don't know if I've ever written down the word(s) "ice floe(s)" before, so that's fucking awesome. I am again having trouble differentiating between the George and Paul characters. All in all, though, I don't care a whole lot. John is meditating, or maybe he's holding a treat in his palm and trying to fetch the walrus. The walrus looks so dreamy. 

Speaking of "goo goo g'joob," sort of, I was listening to "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel the other day, and it occurred to me that Paul Simon's "Coo coo c'choo, Mrs. Robinson," might be a "Goo goo g'joob" reference? That's as neat as ice floes. I like the look of "g'joob." I want to start using "Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes" as a sick burn.

This is the one that initially stole my heart. Last night I got pretty drunk after work and then slept like shit and woke up in the morning and sat cross-legged and catatonic in front of my computer trying to motivate myself to go to the gym for three hours. I finally stood up but I have this thing that happens to me where after every single item of gym clothes I put on I have to reward myself for putting it on by sitting in front of the Internet for fifteen minutes. Somehow it ended up that I was sitting at my computer wearing a sports bra, a pair of leggings, and one sock, staring at this astronauts version of Les Petits Beatles and probably drooling. I put another sock on, and before I even realized what I'd done, it turned out I'd impulse-bought the heather grey men's Les Petit Beatles astronaut t-shirt seen below! Yikes.  It's crazy how it takes, like, fifteen seconds to buy things on the Internet these days. After I bought it, I asked myself, "Why the fuck did I just do that?" It was a ridiculous decision. There are so many things I've wanted for so, so long that I never let myself buy because I'm poor and miserly, minorly miserly, mostly just poor. And then I throw it all away in one instant to buy a t-shirt of cartoon baby Beatles floating through space. It's so weird how I'm not homeless yet.