8 Things I Want Really Bad Right Now

1. I want someone to tune my guitar and I want to be at least three times better at guitar so I can play "Opinion" by Kurt Cobain whenever I'm feeling angsty and restless. The last person to tune my guitar was the heavy metal drummer of my "Jigsaw Puzzle" story, and that was in 2003. I want to play "Opinion" by Kurt Cobain while wearing my fake-leopard-fur coat and white sunglasses like Kurt. 

2. I want the Marijuana perfume from Rich Hippie. Sometimes I have these moments where I'm like "Just do it, just get it, treat yo self." And then I go through the whole Rich Hippie checkout process and get to the shipping part and the cheapest shipping option is $35, i.e. the same cost of the perfume itself, and I just can't go through with it. I want to wear marijuana perfume and coconut oil at the same time and listen to John Frusciante's cover of "Moist Vagina" by Nirvana, the part where he screams "MARIJUANAAAAAAAAAAA" over and over. It's from the era when John was mostly dead, but it makes me feel so alive.

3. Courtney's dress and lipstick:

4. "Just What I Needed" by The Cars came on the radio this morning and the line that goes "It doesn't matter where you've been as long as it was deep" really struck me. That's such a chill and enlightened and generous sentiment; it's so romantic. And I love that he expects her to have been deep places -- I think it's important to have high expectations of whomever we're letting into our lives. The point I'm getting at is: I kinda wanna date a "Ric Ocasek guy," a guy who's Ric Ocasek-esque.

5. Basically I just want life to be exactly like "Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee." I want to be Jerry Seinfeld so I can eat pancakes with Larry David and sandwiches with Alec Baldwin and we can joyfully shit-talk each other and come to cool realizations like Jerry Seinfeld's point about how a dining companion's choice of food affects the mood of the meal. I've watched "Larry Eats A Pancake" about a million times in the past couple weeks; I generally play it while doing my makeup/straightening my hair and it's so stress-reducing and weirdly heartwarming: I love how you can really feel the affection they've got for each other. Also I relate so intensely when Larry says the thing about "I can't believe this is how people live" after eating the pancake. And the spit-take is exquisite, it gets me every time.

6. Chevy Chase in 1975. I mean, really:

7. I want there to be a magic tunnel between Los Angeles and New York City, a tunnel that makes it so it only takes like three seconds to travel back and forth between the two. I don't much adore the city itself, and whenever I'm there I'm always doing things like getting on the subway wrong and riding a really long time before I realize I'm going in the opposite direction I'd intended, but I love my New York people so immensely and I want to see them all the time. Also I want easier access to the coconut pancakes at Purity Diner.

8. This Emily Miranda bracelet:

xo Liz


  1. ive been watching Comedians in Cars too, haha. i hope he has a lady on soon though!

    also YES to 70s chevy chase. i always hear he's such a dick, but he seems to me to be a dick in just the right way.

    1. i was so just thinking the same thing (about ladies).

  2. LIZ! thank you for bringing Larry Eats a Pancake into my life.