Paul Simonon, The Skinnier Crayolas, and Dreadnought Volumes 1-3

Here is a picture of Paul Simonon's tape collection. Paul Simonon, if you don't know, is the bass player of The Clash. He is a very beautiful human being, and the last four letters of his last name are a real good time to type. 

Obviously it's really cute to imagine Paul Simonon lazing around his apartment or backstage/ whatevs painstakingly/adorably coloring in the spines of his wonderful homemade tape collection, intuitively understanding why the essence of dub is most clearly represented by the colors blue and purple. But the real unsung hero of making up fake daydreams pertaining to Paul Simonon's tape collection is imagining Paul Simonon BUYING THE MARKERS. 

Can you imagine??? This death-defyingly good-looking punk rock angel-hunk venturing out of his gnarly Clash apartment on a grey London afternoon with the sole intention of purchasing a pack of felt-tip markers so he can color in the spines of his Dreadnought mixes, volumes 1 through 3. Paul Simonon loping up to the cash register at an art supply store grasping a couple packs of the skinnier Crayolas, reeking of cigarette smoke, digging through his back pockets for wads of cash and loose change, Paul Simonon counting change, Paul Simonon OWNING THE MARKERS. Paul Simonon walking home holding two packs of markers. "Whatcha got there, Paul?" "Oh, just some new markers." The markers spilled out all over his coffee table or whatever his Clashy approximation of a coffee table was- stacked up milk crates, or just the floor. Paul Simonon sprawled out on a hardwood floor coloring! And did the tapes have covers, too? Are the spines only the tip of the Paul Simonon-cassette-marker iceberg? I remember being a kid and if you left your markers out for too long the tips would start to bubble out and get kind of a leprosy effect going on. I want to know if that ever happened to Paul Simonon's markers. I want to know everything in the world about Paul Simonon's relationship with his box of markers and I want to hear every song on every reggae mix Paul Simonon ever made.



  1. Whenever I see a punk dude in a patched coat, I always picture him sitting at his mom's sewing machine, toiling away for hours. It's adorable.

  2. Aaand... I just got fired from a crappy job at Macy's, and thinking about Paul Simonon buying markers cheered me up just a little, so thanks for that.

    1. I feel like my life is less meaningless for this

  3. Today I found out my best friend was admitted to the hospital. I could not make this crap up. Ball's in your court, Laura Jane.

  4. Reading this gave me insight into what an anal person I am/must have been as a little kid because I've never left a marker uncapped long enough to identify with what you wrote!