Seven Things I Want Really Bad Right Now

BY LIZ

i. THE 'WHO HAS MORE FUN THAN PEOPLE?' SHIRT JOSH HAMILTON WORE ON LOUIE. After writing my thing about Big Star and Diggers and how Josh Hamilton is the best person in the world, I watched the season 1 episode of Louie where Louie gets stoned with Josh Hamilton and Josh Hamilton is wearing an amazing shirt that says "Who Has More Fun Than People?" I want that shirt so badly. Not, like, a reproduction of it, but the actual shirt that Josh Hamilton wore during the filming of the episode. It's so beautifully faded and those little rips up near the collar are gorgeous. Plus I bet Josh Hamilton smells really good, like some sort of soap you'd buy at Whole Foods, like almond sandalwood or something. I also want his dog from that episode ("the first dog"). 

ii. SOME GODDAMNED PUMPKIN ICED COFFEE. Is the existence of pumpkin iced coffee outlawed in Los Angeles/the world in general? It's sure starting to feel that way. And what else are we supposed to drink when it's October but 100-something degrees out for days on end? Good grief.

iii. LOTS MORE OF URBAN DECAY'S 'SNATCH' EYESHADOW

There's some in my Kime Buzzelli for Urban Decay eyeshadow palette but it's running out, as you can see. It's such a great color, peachy-pink and so glittery, and when I wear it the glitter sort of spills off my eyelids and onto my shoulders and I love it.



iv. BLUE BALLET FLATS. For my Halloween costume, I mean -- I'm going to be The Ocean. I want my ballet flats to be deep deep blue and satiny, maybe with ribbons. Lately I've been wearing a killer pair of gold ballet flats but then my cat puked in them and that's sort of made them less lovely to me. Here's a picture of my cat being like, "Oh what's up man -- totally just puked in your ballet flats":

v. MALIBU MONKEY BASIL LIMEADE ALL THE TIME FOREVER

I got that jar on the last day of summer, at a farmstand on the way to Zuma Beach. I also got a little basket of figs (as seen above -- but the candy came from Malibu Kitchen, which was also selling a red velvet cupcake that's bigger than the world). Together the limeade and the figs cost about five thousand dollars but it was all right, on account of the fact that limeade was a dream, so intensely basil-y but so, so sweet and acidy-sour. It's probably what flows from the kitchen faucets in Heaven.

vi. A DATE WITH THE MICK JAGGER WHO APPEARS IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH

He'd pick me up and I'd be like, "Hey Pistachio Ice Cream. Hey, Mint Ice Cream. Hey, Marzipan Frosting On A Piece Of Princess Torte."

vii. TO LIVE ON THE CANALS, AND FOR THIS TO BE MY BOAT

For a while I stopped going to the Venice Canals cuz it made me sad that I'm not even one-billionth as rich as I'd need to be to live there. Which was so babyish of me! And stupid and defeatist. So a few weeks ago I went to the canals and walked around and decided that when I live there, this boat's going to be mine. It looks like if Mary Timony had a boat. Mary Timony can come sailing with me anytime.