The Strawberry Fields Whatever Diet: Everything We Ate For An Entire Week (Winter Edition!)


(To revisit the CLASSIC Summer Edition, click here)

Monday, January 7th

LJ: I woke up at 11 and ate my normal breakfast of a cup of coffee and a bowl of Quaker Harvest Crunch with cottage cheese and honey. Fat-free cottage cheese, may I add. To accentuate my lameness. I ate Quaker Harvest Crunch for the first time in September, and it changed my life. I used to never eat Quaker Harvest Crunch, and now I eat Quaker Harvest Crunch every day. I LOVE IT. I found out about it because Erin’s stepdad buys it in bulk at Costco and then gives her more boxes than she can handle; I was at her house and she asked me if I wanted a box of cereal and I said, “Obviously.” The thing is, I didn’t know it was Quaker Harvest Crunch, because the Costco packaging is just a plain white box. It looks like jail food. But somewhere on the box it said Quaker Harvest Crunch in tiny pale letters and I Googled it and I was like “Ohhhhh whoa it’s that cereal?” Because obviously I have seen Quaker Harvest Crunch a million times in my life. It’s just so non-excitingly branded and shitty-looking. I wish I could rebrand Quaker Harvest Crunch and put a picture of my face on the box. 

I work nights at a restaurant, six days a week. It’s been really challenging to figure out how to feed myself properly when I work through the hours typically reserved for dinner-eating. I get into eating grooves and then start to get annoyed with them and switch it up. Lately I’ve gotten myself into the habit of riding off my Quaker Harvest Crunch bowl through most of the day and eating my dinner-type meal right before work. Usually around 4:30 or so. It’s probably a stupid way to eat but so is subsisting solely on trail mix, my second most popular eating groove.

At 3:24 PM I had a cup of tea: Celestial Seasonings Morning Thunder, my fav since I was 21. I was looking at the box as the water boiled. There’s a picture of a buffalo on the box, and smoke is coming out of his nose. In the sky behind him (or her!) the clouds are shaped like a herd of buffalo. It’s very weird.

I went to Aroma for “dinner.” I take myself out to eat a lot. I love eating alone in restaurants, and right now I’m on an “eating alone in restaurants” bender. I like and hate Aroma. The ambiance is bad. I hate what happens to floors in winter, and theirs is particularly mucky. So many puddles with little icebergs of brown slush in them. They ask you for your name and then when your food is ready they announce your name through a microphone. The smarmy asshole teenager in line before me gave his name as “Barack Obama” so that the poor Aroma employee would have to say “Barack Obama” into the microphone. It was so fucking funny. Just kidding. It was stupid and I hated everyone who laughed at it. I really wanted cold food. In the winter you never eat cold food, always warm food. I had an Aroma Special, which is greens with chopped up cucumber, tomato and onion, black olives, feta cheese, and a hard-boiled egg. It’s quite a salad! It came with bread. I ate some of the bread but not all of it. But most of it! I ate the hell out of that salad. I kept thinking that, as I was eating it- “I’m eating the hell out of this salad.” And I thought about how it was one of the number one times I’ve ever eaten fastest in a restaurant. Crazily fastest. And sloppiest! Cucumber everywhere. I was ravenous.

I also had an Americano. I love Aroma Americanos so much- I didn’t need one, but I had to get one. I couldn’t drink it all. I was overcaffeinated. The coffee at Aroma comes with a square of chocolate. I ate the chocolate.

I got to work and my manager was like “Oh, I guess you didn’t get my texts.” Clearly I hadn’t, because the texts said “Your shift is cancelled. Don’t come to work.” I called my friend Sadie (Sadie isn’t her real name. I am protecting her identity) and we decided that I was going to go over to her apartment, where we would smoke some pot. I was like “Do you want me to bring over some food from my restaurant?” and then it was like DUH YEAH OBVIOUSLY so I got an order of guac (it was free; my life is amazing) and then packed us up a giant bag of totopos and some salsa Mexicana. “Totopos” means “tortilla chips.” We make them in-house. There are giant bins of them in the kitchen, and it’s really hard not to constantly be eating them every single second of my life. One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to stop eating totopos. I told that to my sous-chef and he laughed at me because it’s impossible to stop eating totopos.

Sadie and I got high and ate a ton of chips and guac. It was definitely more chips and guac than my body needed. I wasn’t eating them out of hunger; I was eating them out of stonedness and love for them. I love that. I love classic stoner behavior.

JEN: I had a bloody nose this morning. I realize that’s maybe a gross way to start a blog about what I ate for a week but it totally threw me off. I really wanted to make toast. I did not have time. Instead, I got an americano with soy milk from Oren’s and a sad granola thing. It’s not even a bar, really. It’s a square. It’s a Baked Whole Food Bar by Earnest Eats. It’s vegan. Almond trail mix “flavor”. I’m embarrassed to admit how often I’ve eaten these for breakfast the last month or so. They aren’t even that good! They are fine.

I hate having to buy lunch at work. Today I had to buy lunch at work. I went to Le Pain Quotidien. There’s always something I can eat there at least and it’s French or whatever so it’s my default lunch spot. I ended up getting an avocado chickpea tartine which is essentially a psychotic amount of bread smeared with avocado, topped with a couple of chickpeas, cucumbers, radishes and there were a few sprouts. They give you a lemon to squeeze on it. I drink some kukicha tea while eating this in front of my computer and googling “modern cat tree” “designer cat furniture”.

I ate a few handfuls of raisin bran before making dinner. I don’t really like cereal and this is an off brand raisin bran with incredibly pixelated printing so this is a low point for me.

For dinner I made this “holiday pappardelle” I bought at the farmer’s market before Christmas. I meant to give it to my dad’s girlfriend because this pasta is seriously so good but I forgot about it. It’s whole wheat and colored with beets and spinach, so it’s also beautiful. I made a mega garlicy red chili pepper flake oil that I dumped on top of the pasta, pea shoots & steamed broccoli rabe & kale. I also had a pathetic little non-salad of just lettuce because I bought lettuce at the grocery store for some unknown reason on New Years Eve. I topped it with some nutritional yeast, pepper & parsley like any respectable vegan would. I was exhausted this night. Part of me wanted to stay up and eat popcorn and make satanic imagery but another part of me wanted to lay on the couch. I ended up on the couch drinking ginger tea with lemon and reading the Art of Cruelty by Maggie Nelson, which I am super into. 

Tuesday, January 8th

LJ: I quit drinking coffee for three weeks in November. It was an absolutely terrible experience from start to finish.  I never took to it.  I was always exhausted, with a splitting headache. I wanted to kill the world. One morning I finally thought, “This is so dumb, why am I doing this, I can’t take it anymore,” and then I made myself a cup of coffee and it was a staggeringly beautiful thing. I felt like ME again! So I willingly re-addicted myself, and two days later was fully back on the sauce. Now I’ll know for sure forever that the role coffee plays in my life is strictly positive. It improves the quality of my experience as a person living in this world. So yeah: coffee and Quaker Harvest Crunch for breakfast.

I had a cup of Morning Thunder a couple hours after waking up. I didn’t sleep that much. I was literally jolted out of sleep by the intensity of my menstrual cramps. Fucking awesome fucking way to start out a day, I’ll tell you that much.

In the middle of the day I had a peanut butter Nature Valley granola bar. Second-best snack of all time (#1= Babybel.)

I had another Aroma Americano before work. It’s impossible for me not to have a coffee in that right-before-work slot. It’s my security blanket. Even if I am full of energy and life, there’s still the possibility that work will be crazy and exhaust me 2 hours in. Being exhausted while working in a crazy restaurant is a shitty thing to be, so I take extra precautions against that happening. I say “it’s better to be safe than sorry” so much to myself. I really live by it.

I dumped a shit-ton of cinnamon into my coffee. I gave the chocolate to a homeless man.

I decided to eat for free at work. I always get the same thing: a bowl of half-rice/half-refritos, with tinga-style chicken on top. The line cook who made it for me is cheap about portions. I was pissed when I saw it was that line cook. I added some totopos to the bowl but I was still a little hungry after finishing it, so I got some guac off a different line cook. I ate it with a handful of totopos but then cut myself off and successfully avoided falling down a totopos rabbit-hole. Yayyyyy LJ

I drank several glasses of sparkling water. I drink an insane amount of sparkling water at work. Like, why wouldn’t I? Why would anyone ever drink flat water if they could have as much sparkling water as they wanted for FREE? If you would pick still over sparkling in that situation, we are fundamentally dissimilar. That situation is the reality of my life, and I choose sparkling.

I also ate one bite of a Mexican chile/mango-flavored gummy lollipop. Two big boxes of them suddenly appeared on a shelf I’m constantly walking past, so I was like “Hmmm, I want to get to the bottom of this,” and opened up a lollipop and ate a chunk. It was not good. I said “Ew” aloud to nobody and then threw it in the garbage.

When I got home I ate a Golden Delicious apple and drank a cup of decaffeinated English Breakfast tea.

JEN: I had my toast for breakfast today! 2 slices, both with a mix of this phenomenal plum cardamom jam that Caitlin made that I am in love with, and peanut butter. Small little whole wheat toast slices. Too small. If I had more time I would have had a third.

On my way to work I stopped and got an Americano with soy milk from Oren’s. I used my free drink I had on my card. I was going to get a cappuccino since that’s more expensive but then I started worrying about how long it’d take to froth the milk (like, 30 seconds?) and decided against it. Is that depressing? Regina was standing behind me on line the whole time but she didn’t realize it was me since I recently dyed my hair in a major way.

For lunch I had leftovers from last night. Of course I was still hungry afterwards so I had to go foraging for snacks on the Upper East Side in a “market” or “something”. I had a blood orange and some Extra Thin Pretzel Sticks. I had approx 100 pretzel sticks.

After work I went to my studio where I ate the rest of the Extra Thin Pretzel sticks, another blood orange, and drank a gigantic bottle of water. After being there for a few hours and listening to every Sleater-Kinney song on shuffle while rearranging satantic imagery into collages I left. I went got a vegetable green curry to go from Thai Cafe. Thai Cafe is great!! I love it. They use cooler than usual (in take out food) vegetables (cauliflower & eggplant are a given) and it tastes fresh and excellent. I ate this sitting at my kitchen table with Marc Maron (in podcast form).

Wednesday, January 9th 

LJ: I woke up at 10:30 AM and drank a cup of coffee and then drank half of a second cup of coffee. I poured the other half down the sink to really hammer home the point of how much I was hating it. It made me see stars. I was meeting my mom for lunch at 12 and over the course of that hour and a half began the process of dying of starvation. She was ten minutes late, and then I died. I was so hungry.

We went to Delux. Shout-outs to our server! My water glass was never empty. We shared an avocado and citrus salad, conch fritters, and the Cubano. If you live in Toronto and haven’t eaten a Delux Cubano yet, you’re not living your life very intelligently. Usually when I go to Delux it’s just me sitting alone and freaking out over my Cubano. I get, like, obsessed with it. Just me and my Cubano! Me meditating on my Cubano. But this time the Cubano was overshadowed by the conch fritters, which were new and exciting to me. I don’t really understand what they are. Just a doughy salty fried fish thing. The salad was whatever, but good on me for eating a vegetable.

I went home and to the gym and got ready for work and then went to Future’s to buy myself a slice of cake. I don’t eat enough cake anymore, I realized today. When I was twenty-four and didn’t have a job because I was going through anorexia recovery but I was at the tail-end of counting as “being in anorexia recovery” so it was getting kind of sketchy how I didn’t have a job but I was like “Fuck it, I’m going to milk not having a job for all it’s worth” and my life was so fucking easy and I had no idea what real life was going to be like, I went through this phase of always eating slices of cake at Future’s for lunch. They had this “buy ten slices of cake, get one free” card and I got super-into it and filled one up in an impressively short amount of time.

I had a slice of Black Forest cheesecake and it was off the fucking chain, OBVIOUSLY. I ate it so slowly and in such tiny bites because I never wanted it to end. That jammy maraschino cherry glaze on top is probably my favorite food. Ever. And then the cheesecake part was PINK. The crust was chocolate and ganachey and the whipped cream swirl on top was kind of frozen. It was maybe more frosting than whipped cream. Best thing I’ve eaten all week, that’s for sure.

At work I drank one sip of cucumber margarita and one sip of tamarind margarita. Tons of sparkling water, which I drank out of a one-litre plastic container.

When I got home I ate my classic after-work snack, my beautiful snack. Golden Delicious apple, Nature Valley granola bar, and cup of decaf English Breakfast tea. It’s Twinings. Here is a beautiful word-order: 

Dipping a granola bar into tea 

JEN: Toast with Caitlin’s amazing jam and peanut butter again. I ran out of bread so we’ll see how I fare the rest of the week. I got a small black coffee from Oren’s and honestly it’s disgusting. They change the blend daily and whatever this is, I hate it, but I am drinking it nonetheless.

Lunch is a chopped romaine salad from Gobo. It’s romaine lettuce, smoked tofu, avocado, almond slices, carrots, a couple of cherry tomatoes and this dressing that is creamy-ish and good. I was feeling hungry and indecisive when i ordered this so I also ordered a miso soup which I haven’t touched. A salad didn’t seem like enough but maybe this salad was enough. Oh, also there are these fried dough puffs in it. I don’t know what they are. Kind of like chips. Maybe rice flour puffs? I’ll eat the miso soup tomorrow or later or never if I am horrible and wasteful.

I was feeling really dumpy and gross all day and all I wanted was to eat a potato. I felt like a potato. I got home and roasted purple potatoes, made tofu scramble with carrots and had that all with pea shoots. I was supposed to be prepping the apartment for the RETURN OF THE CATS! (I have 3 cats and just moved. They stayed at Alan’s parent’s house during the moving mania time and they came BACK!) but I wanted potatoes so badly I spent an hour making dinner & listening to Dave Hill & Jessi Klein talk on Dave Hill’s podcast instead. I don’t know I just want to be friends with them both. I can easily imagine me and Dave Hill being buds. I even read his book. I was thinking about that deep stuff and I started doing some cat stuff while cooking and listening to people talking. I was multitasking. I was spraying that stuff that says it will keep cats from scratching stuff but does nothing on the couch and I guess sprayed my hand. I ate some pieces of potatoes with my hand when they came out of the oven. I ate the cat spray stuff and it was truly disgusting. The taste stayed on my lips for about 3-4 hours. Oh! I also drank a beer while making dinner. A Bluepoint Winter Ale, from Long Island, like me! 

Thursday, January 10th 

LJ: Coffee and Quaker Harvest Crunch for breakfast. Always water. Since quitting smoking I chew through a pack of gum every two days. After the gym I ate an apple. That was two seconds ago. Now I am drinking water and writing this sentence.

My day started out as an obvious reaction to cake-and-fried-shit yesterday. I had raw kale salad and raw vegan Pad Thai from Feel Good Guru hanging out at Robber in the afternoon, and a Grande nonfat green tea latte instead of coffee on the way to work. I was thinking of going unsweetened, but fuck it. Life’s too short.

When I got to work, I found out my shift had been cut. I don’t understand why my manager can’t just fucking tell me my shifts have been cut before I commute all the way uptown, but it worked out alright because I got cut at the exact moment the bartender accidentally made a large strawberry margarita instead of a large classic margarita. That was the moment my commitment to healthiness fell apart. I drank the margarita, and it was wonderful. I left work and met some friends at an opening and drank two glasses of red wine but I think it’s fair to point out that they were some of the skimpiest glasses of wine I’ve ever seen poured. Maybe two ounces each, if that.

I met up with my friend Carly and we walked down Ossington trying to find a place to eat. We rejected every restaurant on the street for being too chichi and expensive and ended up going to Nova Era, the Portuguese bakery, which was perfect. Carly had a bottle of apple juice and they gave her a cute little glass with it and she said “This is an apple juice glass.” I really like the concept of “an apple juice glass.” I was sad I wasn’t hungrier because I love Nova Era sandwiches. I had a chocolate chip cookie.

After Nova Era we went to the Fountain and I drank Dark & Stormys all night. I had four of them. Four!

JEN: Another sad granola bar and an Americano with soy milk. I had my miso soup from yesterday at my desk while reading LJ’s beautiful George Harrison photo post. BRAVO! Still hungry, I busted into the tofu scramble left overs I was hoping to eat for lunch tomorrow. I ate about half. 

At like 3pm I had some green tea with mint and read the wikipedia entry for hag horror.I get home from work and immediately eat 3 hunks of a baguette with Earth Balance.

Tonight is Goldblum Night which means I won’t eat dinner. I’ll eat snacks. I had an open jar of salsa so we decided to make nachos, a first for Goldblum Night. We got black beans, follow your heart veegs nacho cheese and an avocado. !e put them in the oven and we burnt them. Not totally burnt though! Just a few were 100% burnt. We ate them. We also ate a bag of LATTICE CUT salted Herrs’ chips. And popcorn. We drank a bottle of rose. This was a kind of more off the cuff Goldblum night than usual. We watched him on Portlandia (so handsome, though I prefer his hair to be a little bit longer, really), We watched him on Fairy Tale Theater, Jiminy Glick, talking about trying to get a prostitute at age 13 or 14 and getting scared and pretending he had somewhere else to be and leaving, and this weird video where he looks like Johnny Depp or something. Glad that mustache was short lived.

Friday, January 11th 

LJ: Coffee and Quaker Harvest Crunch. When I woke up I thought I was hungover, which I guess I was, on some level. But I was more than just hungover. I went to the gym and on the elliptical machine it hit me. I was sick. That sucked to figure out.

I immediately went into sick person mode and started needing soup. I remembered about this soup I discovered last time I was sick. It’s Campbell’s Creations “Tuscan meatball with farfalle pasta.” I just did a little e-research and I think it might only be available in Canada. It’s so weirdly good. If I ordered it in a restaurant I’d be like “Damn, this place has such wicked soup!” Damn that awesome soup. The spinach! The little meatballs! The Parmesan taste! The Farfalle too I guess! And it’s hella low-cal. Creepily low-cal. I’m not much of a calorie counter myself, but if you are, I highly recommend this soup. I ate it for dinner with a sesame bagel toasted with cream cheese. I loved it.

I had my Aroma Americano before work. The chocolate is still at the bottom of my bag. At work I ate an orange wedge, a maraschino cherry, and approximately three totopos. After work I had The Classic. That’s my new nickname for my snack.

JEN: A bagel!!!!! I had a 7 grain bagel with tofu cream cheese for breakfast. Soy Americano, duh.

For lunch I ate the rest of my tofu scramble left overs from yesterday which was basically just pea shoots. I ordered a spinach wonton soup from Gobo for reinforcement.

mint & green tea in the afternoon. 

 After work Regina & I ran a bunch of (my) errands in the rain. We were starving. Before coming back to my apartment we went to Brooklyn Standard and got 3 sandwiches(1 for alan), 2 bags of chips, and a 6 pack of goth beer (magic hat eye of darkness or something). The guy working was like, “whoa you guys are having a party” and I was like, YEAH. The best sandwich there is definitely the grilled BBQ tofu one but for whatever reason I didn’t feel like having that. I got the bahn mi. We got a bag of BBQ chips, and one regs sea salt of this really weird brand I wish I could remember the name. Munchie something. It’s really not clear at all that it’s a bag of chips until you read the fine print. They’re good. I ate half the sandwich, had a lot of chips and had a beer. We watched 2 episodes of Fishing with John and I put curlers in my hair hoping to make it seem really Twin Peaks-y before going out later. The rain totally harshes my Peaked vibe and my hair was just wet and normal. whatever.

We go into the big city and meet Cary for VEGAN ICE CREAM SUNDAES!!!!! At Lula’s Sweet Apothecary aka heaven. Last week Cary and I were talking about how we’ve never seen or had vegan strawberry ice cream, and what’s up with that? Well, Lula’s had it. Cary and I got almost identical sundaes - 1 scoop strawberry, 1 scoop peanut butter crunch, hot fudge, coconut whipped cream. I topped mine with crushed grahamn crackers, he topped his with crushed Newman Os. Regina & Alan also got sundaes. Regina’s included marshmallow sauce, Alan’s included coffee ice cream. They were heavenly. Everything at Lula’s is made in-house and eating a sundae from there is a transcendental experience.

It’s Greg’s birthday so we meet Greg & other pals at Blue & Gold. I have 2 Jameson & Sodas and some water. We go to some other bar after a while where I don’t get anything and get really tired. Alan,Laura & I split a cab home and we’re home in like 6 minutes. I stand in the middle of my kitchen eating the remaining chips from dinner at 3:00am. 

Saturday, January 12th

LJ: I switched up breakfast, and had a sesame bagel toasted with peanut butter and strawberry jam. I was fucking in love with it. I think I’m ready to be back in a pb&j for breakfast phase for awhile. And coffee obvs.

In the middle of the day I had a cup of tea, Banana Cinnamon Spice. It’s made by the brand Four O’Clock. I bought the box of that tea on this weird afternoon- it was December 23rd, actually- I was in a manically good mood. I was running around Toronto impulse-buying Dolfin chocolate and mini-bottles of Henckell Rose and all this Christmas-themed shit being all “BLAEHHHGUUUGHHH I’M IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!” and listening to “Baby You’re A Rich Man” and then I saw Banana Cinnamon Spice tea, with this family of cartoon ducks ice-skating on the front of the box, and I was like “SOLD.” It’s probably my favorite tea of all time. It should really be ice-skating monkeys, though, because BANANA. Duhhhhhh 

For din I had the same soup and bagel only with margarine on the bagel instead of cream cheese. I regretted that decision. I think for the rest of my life what I’m going to do is put cream cheese on one half, margarine on the other, and then eat them in alternating bites. I’m fucking OBSESSED with this meal! I’m probably going to eat it every day next week.

It was really warm out, I felt sicker than I did yesterday, but I forced myself to go out and walk around a bit, enjoy April in January. I walked up to Saving Gigi to get my Americano there instead of Aroma. You know, I barely even realized I had this “my Americano” thing happening before I started writing it all down. I’m embarrassed about it. I make a lot of fun of people who care about coffee. But today I was walking down the street drinking my Saving Gigi Americano and thinking about it, tasting it, and I, like, “detected” “notes” of licorice and blackberry. Ugh, I’m so corny. I just want to be the exact human opposite of Paul Giamatti in Sideways. That’s my goal in life. I’m fucking it up now, I realize. “Licorice and blackberry.”

Work was crazy and I felt like death. At the end of the night I ate a ramekin of refritos, with some salsa Mexicana on top. Then I was upstairs serving a party of people these little baby tacos of lamb barbacoa marinated in borracha salsa, which is drunken salsa, off a banana leaf, and there was only one taco left on the banana leaf, so I went and offered it to to a woman who I remembered from earlier was a vegetarian, and then kind of wandered away from the party and ate it in hiding. I love our barbacoa.

When I got home I drank a cup of Twinings Lemon & Ginger tea while watching the episode of Friends where Ross gives Marcel to the San Diego Zoo. I got hungry while falling asleep so padded into the kitchen to eat a spoonful of peanut butter.

JEN: I wake up really late. Meditate. Text Laura to see if she wants to go get brunch. She does, thank god. I go to eat some more of the chips like a savage but there is nothing left. After we both take a while to do our “morning” getting ready stuff we meet at like 1pm or something and walk to my favorite place on earth, Champs. There’s a wait so we have coffee outside and chat for a while. Once we’re seated we order an appetizer of the mega-brownie. It’s a brownie with chocolate chips and chocolate frosting and chocolate sprinkles. It’s delicious. The frosting tastes a lot like hot chocolate in the really amazing way. I love it. We both ordered tofu benedict, which is out of this world good at Champs. We’re there for a while and every time the so cool and nice waitress comes by i’m like, “I love the girls that work at Champs”! I do. They seems so great.

At some point during the day I eat a couple of mint Newman-O’s. I try not to buy stuff like this because I have no self control what-so-ever and will just eat some every time I pass it. We’re still in unpacking/not totally set up yet mode at our new apartment so we’re still heavily relying on snacks and take out in a major way.

Later I make mint tea in my Laura Palmer screaming mug that Regina gave me for my birthday.

For dinner I have the other half of Alan’s Brooklyn Standard sandwich (Grilled tofu BBQ) and he has mine. Obviously, there are more chips.

I realized that Death Becomes Her is on HBOgo and so then I absolutely had to watch it immediately. I had a few more Newman-O’s while watching it and that’s really it. 

Sunday, January 13th

LJ: Sunday is my day off, so Sundays are always eating extravaganzas. Every Sunday I live is basically a symposium on the concept of gluttony. They almost always begin with brunch.

I woke up and had a cup of coffee and met Sam and Teri for brunch at the Bristol Yard. I had coffee and the Eggs Maradona, which I’ve already written about on this blog. It’s a stellar plate of food but I think I built it up in my mind a little. It’s not Eggs Maradona’s fault, it’s mine. After brunch we wandered around for a bit and I found an agenda I wanted to buy for Jen May but didn’t because it was $27.50. Then we all went to Pauper’s and I had a weirdly good glass of Sauvignon Blanc that tasted like stone fruit because all white wine tastes like stone fruit in my opinion. I never don’t detect notes of peach. Pauper’s is my favorite bar in Toronto, in a way. It’s such a nasty, terrible bar. But you know what the banquettes are made of? Red velvet, motherfuckers.

I got my nails shellacked coral and then went over to my father's apartment. Cocktail hour began at 3:51. I drank some more white wine that tasted like stone fruit. A few hours later we went to the grocery store and I pretended not to be drunk at the grocery store. We came home and I ate some sea salt BagelCrisps with some English Huntsman, which is my favorite cheese. To quote a website I just found, it’s “creamy, forceful Stilton sandwiched between layers of mellow, satiny Double Gloucester.” Um, couldn’t have said it better myself.

For dinner my Dad made us salmon, broccoli, and potatoes. I also had some bread, and more white wine. I drank white wine consistently for the entire rest of the day. I was still feeling fluish and now it’s the next day and I feel worse so basically, the wine was dumb of me. Really bad choice. I ate so many potatoes. I just added up the potatoes I ate at dinner with the potatoes I ate at brunch and learned that today was definitely one of the top 10 days of my life I ate the highest number of potatoes. So that’s a nice thing to document and then tell people about.

JEN: We have this half eaten baguette that’s about 5 days old at this point. It’s somehow not totally rock hard. I decide to try and make veegs french toast with it. I don’t have any flour. Oh well. I just mix almond milk, cinnamon,a little all spice, some vanilla & a drop of maple syrup up. I drop the pretty stale bread in and fry them up. It’s really, really good. I realize that to someone who eats all food this may sounds really lame and sad. Like when someone makes hot chocolate with raw cacao and water & nothing else and say it’s delicious and you’re like, no way. It’s not. It’s genuinely really delicious. The bread must have been the perfect amount stale and the whole thing just came together in this really slammin’ way. I felt like I should eat fruit with this and all I had was an orange or a lemon so I had half an orange as well. I doused it all in maple syrup & earth balance too, obviously. I have some Witch’s Brew/Blend X coffee.

I spent this day hanging up artwork around the apartment. Or really, staring at artwork I have and being like, “i guess i need more frames/where should this go?/ oh but that one is cool/ do i really need a frame?/ i’m going to look at instragram now”. After doing that for 3 hours I split an eggplant panini & spinach salad from Cafe Royal with Alan. I made ginger & lemon tea about an hour ago but forgot about it and now it’s cold.

Added some hot water to that tea and drank it. I made a red lentil lemon soup. I didn’t have enough red lentils so I padded it out with green ones. This was fine, it would have been better all red but, oh well.

I can’t find my tax documents after moving and I have to pay my final quarterly taxes for the year by Tuesday. I start to feel stressed & depressed. At around 11 I decide I’m going to watch the Girls season 2 premiere on HBOgo and paint my nails (which I have been wanting to do since about Dec 30). I pour myself a bourbon, Basil Haydens, and start up HBOgo, which of course is not working. I switch to Netflix & watch Young Adult. I make a giant pot of popcorn & eat it all.


  1. I've been looking forward to this post for SO LONG and it did not disappoint.

  2. I love the food posts! I've really been into Braeburn apples & cottage cheese lately (not together, though). I'll have to try the cottage cheese & granola combo, too.

  3. "I realize that to someone who eats all food this may sounds really lame and sad. Like when someone makes hot chocolate with raw cacao and water & nothing else and say it’s delicious and you’re like, no way. It’s not. It’s genuinely really delicious."