Hi guys! Here's a cool and slutty picture of me that looks like softcore pornography, or an American Apparel ad, or both. Something I'm really happy the world will never know about me is how insanely long it took me to choose, out of this photo and three that look basically exactly like it, which struck the most-bloggable balance of "stunning" and "less like the annoying constructed selfie it truly is than it truly is." So here is your winner! Learn it, love it, know it, or whatever.
Great! I'm vain. In other news, I was recently hella-promoted at work. So, in the grand tradition of every person who has ever been promoted, I recently spent a lot of money on a bunch of cool shit I don't need. I bought an adorbs Karen Walker dress with pictures of the planets all over it at Robber, a lil purple Falconwright pouch,
which I allegedly "needed" for work (to carry around a couple pens and a wine opener since I never have pockets), and a pair of tan Kork-Ease Blythes. Ew. Not that I think this revolting display of indulgent consumerism isn't revolting or anything- it's definitely revolting. But whatever! If you live in a revolting world, you may as well be a baller.
Anyway, the most important revolting purchase my baller new self recently made was the Melody Ehsani "The Truth" necklace I'm wearing in the quietly pornographic image seen above; it's badass and beautiful and from the first second I saw it I knew I couldn't properly be myself without it. The Arabic writing means "The Truth" in Arabic in case you're dumb and can't put two and two together, and I'm very happy to be constantly repping the concept of THE TRUTH to everybody who sees me maybe three to five days per week every week til the end of summer I'm guessing. Because I'm Laura Jane and I believe in SUMMER and THE TRUTH and THE SKY and THE OCEAN and DOGS and if you ever see me bragging about all the dumb shit I bought on the Internet again just punch me in the face and Snapchat my bloody dumb tear-stained nose to all the dudes I have crushes on. #PEACE
LIZ'S THING OF THE WEEK: My Bandit Boyfriend & Marijuana Earrings
On Tuesday evening my favorite rock star since I was 13 rode past me on his motorcycle, wearing a bandana beneath his eyes, like a bandit and an outlaw. I knew it was him because then he got off the motorcycle and took the bandana off. He looked elegant and hot. It made me really happy/sick to my stomach, and then I drove to the ocean to have a wine* on the beach and write in my notebook like a pretentious amazing person.
One of my other best things this week is my new earrings, from Luxury Jones:
Unfortch my ears closed up on account of the fact that I haven't worn earrings in about eight years, so now I have to get them pierced again. Should I go to Claire's? Where should I go, guys? I'm scared. Help me. You can get the earrings here, btw.
*I'm going to start doing that Jason Schwartzman-in-Bored to Death thing of referring to each individual glass of wine as "a wine," as if "wines" were actual units of measurement. Let's all do it.
JEN'S THING OF THE WEEK: John Waters's Bed & Chips
Really into both things these days.